I'm Married, Now What?

An article has been floating around titled, "This Man Is Dating Someone Even Though He's Married. Sounds So Wrong...But I'm On His Side".  If you've stumbled across it, then you already know the article is referring to a married couple that still 'dates'.  If you haven't read it yet, check it out here.

Over the years, I've briefly touched on this subject.  I strongly feel that you should date your spouse.

Marriage doesn't mean that things are automatically happy go lucky.  They're anything but.  Marriage is tough, something many of us know.  But, there are plenty of couples out there that their marriage is wonderful.  Why?

Well, it could be luck of the draw, it could be God's plan, or it could be all of the above.  But ultimately, marriage = work.  Part of that work is dating or courting your spouse.

When you were dating, you took the time out of busy work schedules to see that special someone.  Maybe dropped in for a quick hello.  Maybe he sent you flowers.  Those things shouldn't stop just because you got the ring and set up house.

Maybe I'm not a marriage expert, especially since I'm on husband #2 {he's the one y'all}, but I can tell you the things that I clearly see differently.

My first marriage was for all the wrong reasons.  We did the whole thing backwards, had a baby, then decided to get married.  We loved each other for all the wrong reasons and built a marriage based on everything but our love for each other.  We were young-ish, had no clue what we were doing and we were never all in with each other.  I thought I was in love, but looking back, I think I let the love for the daughter he gave me supersede my love for my husband.  It was heartbreaking.

I vowed to God, my daughter and myself that if I ever married again, it would be because I found my best friend.  Insert every cheeky thing a woman has to say about finding love here...I wanted my dreamboat.

Almost 8 years ago, I met him by happenstance.  We've been married 6 years.  And we date.  Often.

Hubby works about 80 hours a week {16 hour days}, my schedule is bonkers because photo shoots happen at all kinds of crazy times, and well, Caroline has a million things going on.  Yes, we have crazy busy schedules, but we make time.

We do have an advantage that not every couple has, Caroline visits her dad every other weekend.  With that said, the only advantage that presents is not getting a babysitter.  As your kids get older, they'll have weekend plans leaving you and your hubby evenings that your not searching for someone to watch the kids.  But don't let that stop you.

From the start, we decided that Friday nights were Date/Family Night.  When she's gone, we go out on a date, when she's home we have family game night.  So it's a given that twice a month we get each other all to ourselves.  Beyond that, we do little things for each other that we both know the other will appreciate.  I bake him chocolate chip cookies to take to work, he makes sure that he takes out the trash or like this week he fixed a plumbing problem because he knew it was driving me crazy.

The minute he gets home from work, he finds me and we share a quick smooch.  We hold hands in the car {after I've finished my make-up}, if I've had a rough day he brings me home a fountain Dr Pepper from my favorite place.  I ask him about his day or send a good morning text.  Little things.  But they mean the whole world.

Believe me, we don't have much time when you look at our schedules and everything involving Caroline,  but it's important enough to us to find time for each other, and when we don't have that we do the little things.

Part of my being purposeful in 2014 includes continuing these things and finding a way to add to our marriage.  It's not always easy, but its worth every ounce of effort that it takes.

I encourage you to date again.  You won't believe the difference it can make.

A Glimpse

I was doing a little blog reading today when I stumbled onto something fun.

I know all of you read The Pioneer Woman.  If not, go now.

Anywho.

She did a post several days ago titled, Fifteen Ways Marlboro Man and I Are Different.

It made me realize that I give y'all a glimpse into my chaotic mind quite frequently, but only tidbits here and there about the hubs.

And I thought it might be fun.

Because well, I never think about our differences until he does something that makes me think about them.  Did you follow that?

So here you go...15 ways that The Hubs and I Are Different:

1.  He doesn't drink coffee.
I'm not a morning person and I will be mean to you until I have some.  But not on purpose.

I'm totally stealing what she wrote, because she hit the nail on the head with #2.  And it couldn't be any closer to the truth for us.

2.  He watches NASCAR on Sundays.
I watch Real Housewives reruns on Sundays.

3.  He doesn't get sucked into stupid iphone games.
Ahem...Candy Crush Addicts Anonymous...My Name is Alicia, and I'm an Addict.

4.  He wants it to be blistering hot summer year round.
I want it to be blithering cold year round.

5.  He drinks beer.
I drink wine. 

6.  He would be happy to never have another dog or cat.
I try to bring home every single one I see.

7.  He buys 1 shirt a year.
I'm not going to incriminate myself here, but lets just say I've got him covered.

8.  He loves sweet tea.  Like pucker your lips sweet.
I love un-sweet tea. Or at the very most half sweet half un-sweet.

9.  He always answers his phone when it rings.
Unless it's my kid or him, I'll call you back.

10.  He likes to sleep in total darkness.
I like the lamp on.  I had a mean big sister, and hate the dark.

11.  He likes motorcycle magazines and saves them "for ideas".
I like Pinterest "for ideas".

12.  He hates super hot showers.
I love super hot baths.  Like, I'm completely red when I get out.

13.  He falls asleep in 0.1 seconds.
I fall asleep in 1,763,239 seconds.  That's right, if you did the math, it takes me 20.4 days to fall asleep.  Maybe, I'm not good at math.

14.  He reads a book once every 2 years.
I read a couple a month.

15.  He goes to bed at 8:30pm
I go to bed at 1:30am and then lay there for 1,763,239 seconds.

Maybe I'll do a post on our similarities next ;)

Getting Inked

This topic isn't new to my blog, in fact I've done a few posts on getting inked.  One that features the hubby & one that features moi {I sure hope I spelled that right!}.  Now, as I've said before...I know tattoos are not for everyone.  If you don't like them, or have strong views on them, then please stop reading this post.  And if you do choose to continue reading, please don't leave ugly or hateful comments on here.  I never leave a comment that isn't sweet or heartfelt.  My momma always told me not to say anything if I couldn't say anything nice...so that rule applies to my blog too.

Tab had several tats already on his upper arm and has been wanting to get a full sleeve for years.  I showed you piece one of that process, and now I'm going to show off step three {yes, I didn't get to take pics of step two}.  This is a long process, so who knows when we will get the whole thing all finished!

Pure Love

Enough said.

Busy Momma

I've been super busy over the last week!  Getting all sorts of stuff out of the way, getting things ready for the hubby to be gone, and chasing my sweet little darling around!  Here are a few things I've been working on lately.

And of course I couldn't leave you without a picture of Boog!   She just melts my heart!

Be sure to check out my Etsy shop for new items...I'm adding things daily!

A New Chapter

Many people look forward to the New Year so they can make changes, move forward with plans, start fresh.  All great things.  I usually don't make resolutions, or make much of a big deal out of the beginning of a new year, but this time around, we're jumping in.  Tab has some big things changing, we all do.  He worked for the city for 15 years, only had 5 more till he retired...at the age of 41.  Of course, he planned on doing something different after he retired!  Last March some things changed, he was moved around, and promises were made to him that were never kept.  Needless to say, he's been unhappy for a while.  Back in the summer, we thought about him changing careers before he retired. 

When you've only been with a company for say 5 years, that's not such a big step, but only having 5 years till retirement...there's a lot to lose.  The city contributes to his 401k obviously, but municipalities don't only match 100%, they match 200%.  A lot to lose.  I know, I know, "money isn't everything", but when your future is depending on it, it makes a huge difference.

We have struggled with this so much over the past 6 months.  Not knowing what to do, what God's plan was for our family.  We've prayed about it, and then, when the possibility came up this summer for him to do something he loves, we really felt that God was leading where he wanted us to be.  After a month, things didn't work out, so we knew it wasn't the time.

All through October & November, things just kept on changing at work for Tab.  It was just getting to be so much.  He was on call every 2 weeks, for 2 weeks at a time.  Maintaining a decent sized city's 2 water plants is no small feat!  He was run down, and just so down in the dumps, it broke my heart.  I've always told him I would stand beside whatever decision he made, so you can only imagine my shock when he calls me on December 22nd, asking me what to do!  I was not quite prepared for it.  We decided it was best to just move on.  Start new.  So he resigned.  3 DAYS before Christmas!  Can we say WOW?

You ask what it is that he has a passion to do?  What are his plans? 
Prepare yourselves, it sounds a little crazy. 

He wants to drive a truck.  Yup, that's right...an 18 wheeler.  Holy Shenanigans!!!  I will never understand this.  He will be a 3rd generation "trucker".  His dad worked for years doing the same stuff Tab did with the city, then moved on to running huge projects as a foreman, and finally he wanted to drive.  I chalk it up to them being manly men!  LOL!  So we started looking into it.  I was shocked!  The benefits are amazing, the pay is great, and the opportunites are endless.  Not what I was expecting.  I guess I've always kind of been the snob when it came to a job like that.  You know, we all have a stereotype for certain things, and I certainly did with this.  But I think God has his own plans, and they are finally being brought to the forefront. 

This is going to be such a hard change for us.  Most of the time you have to have 1-2 years of over the road experience, and although Tab has had his CDL {Commercial Driver's License} for over 15 years, he has never had a continuous 1-2 years long haul driving.  So, he will be on the road for the first year or so.  Gone for 2 weeks at a time and then only home for a few days.  We all 3 hate that!  I'm not quite sure how I'm going to deal with this.  He got a job offer, and if all goes well, he will start February 2nd.  He's already passed all the tests, and is just waiting on his physical to check out a-ok.

Please pray for us.  This is going to be a long road to travel...literally.  I just can't even imagine what this will be like, I just can't seem to wrap my mind around it.  I'm incredibly sad, but I know this is something he really wants to do.  I just pray that this is God's will for us, and that He knows best.  But why does it have to be so hard?

The Dentist Chair

Poor Honey. He got his 1st real taste of the dentist yesterday! When Dr. E walked in, he literally did a double take! He had the funniest look on his face, we confused him! It's always me in Dr. E's chair. But, Tab broke a tooth, and I was safe from the chair! They ended up starting a root canal on it. And yes, I'm mean and took pictures of him. But only because he constantly makes fun of me and my dental woes. Which, if you read about, are many.....ughhhh! So, needless to say, husband o mine has a small understanding of what I constantly go through. But, this is all he has to get done. He's never had a filling, just his wisdom teeth pulled. Oh how I wish that was the case for me!

But for now, I am going to go back to gloating that HE was in the chair this time and not me!

Oh the Tears and Stuff

Since Caroline has been sick for going on a week now, she has been super-duper whiny, with a capital W! I have no idea where she gets that from either {ummm, really, I don't}! So, bless her heart, she comes by it honestly, and maybe that's why it doesn't drive me totally nuts. Notice, I said totally? She does tend to get a little over the top at times. Last night was one of those times. I had a sneaking suspicion when I picked her up that on the 12 minute care ride home she fell asleep, that it was going to be a long night. Boy-o-boy was it!

She whined, cried, and pleaded all night long, about everything. Please don't make me clean up my room, please make dinner, I don't wanna take a bath...and finally it was I want a movie to go to sleep. When that didn't work, she said I was mean! Ha! When I told her that was part of my job, she changed tactics! It was mommie, can you please lay down with me for a little while, mommie, I love you!!! So funny...I had to leave her room so I didn't laugh in front of her!

And the worst part is that I really want to cave, just scoop her up and give her anything her little heart desires...but I can't. What good would that do? None! It would create a monster in another 7-10 years, oh how I dread the teens.

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On another note, she and I are re-doing her room. This has been a long time coming, but she never could make up her mind about anything she wanted. She finally decided, we get started and now after we have one painted wall, she thinks she wants to change it! Nope, not gonna happen Boog! What's done is done! And while painting, I made the mistake of telling her it was okay if I got a little on the carpet because we're getting rid of it and doing a painted floor...what do you think I saw next? Yep, she was smearing paint all over the newspaper onto the carpet for fun! Good grief girl!

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Last Monday {or maybe Tuesday?} Tab was moving some hay in the pasture and Caroline wanted to go say hi. She just had to jump out and go ride around with Tab for a little while and move hay! So what did I do...took pictures of course!






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I think I mentioned that Caroline and I made a canvas for Ryan's parents, and we took it to them on the day of his services. She wanted to make sure I put it on here so everyone could see it!

Thought Filled Thursdays?

I'm thinking that now I may have to change this to Thursdays since I have been enjoying doing the bloghop on Tuesdays! So whaddaya think?

I have missed several weeks since I was sick and all, so I have lots of stored up thoughts! Hope you can bear with me!

-Have I ever told you how much I love shoes? It's an obsession...no, really, it is. Ask anyone who knows me. My mom used to call me Imelda Marcos. Not that I really had 2700 pair of shoes, the worst I got was around 300, but Caroline's dad made me get rid of about half of them! So now, over time I'm at about 85. And I no longer spend every penny of my paycheck on shoes alone...that was years ago! But, I just love them. Please don't think I'm a shoe snob though...I like cheap ones, designer, what ever I find that I like. I love heels, flip flops, wedges...I just love them! And yes, I have read Shoe Addicts Anonymous...LOL! Anyway, one of my favorite pair of heels broke, and it makes me very sad.


-I got a new candle. It smells so good that I could eat it! So yummy!

Circle E - Almond Creme Cake


And of course you Texas girls know the best Circle E Candle of all : Bird of Paradise. If you have never heard of these candles, or smelled Bird of Paradise, I can assure you that if you want a candle that smells delicious, and makes the WHOLE house smell yummy, this is the one! Order one, you'll thank me!

-Caroline loves to go farming with Tab. I know I've briefly mentioned that during harvest time, honey works for a friend farming. Most of the time he makes the hauls to the grain lots to drop of the crops. So you can imagine that he drives a huge 18-wheeler to haul the corn, milo, or wheat. Caroline loves to ride with him. It's only a few miles to Crawford {where they haul the crops} from the fields, so every once in a while I will let her ride with Tab. She got to go recently, and had a blast! Oh, and so you don't think I'm totally crazy, the truck he drives has a nickname...we call him Harvey!


Caroline wanted to climb up into Harvey by herself

Tab helping get her seat belt and booster seat situated



All buckled and ready to go!


Kissy face as they pulled out
-I just realized school starts in a month! Where did the summer go? I blinked and its almost over! Now I have to start school shopping! Ugghhhh!

-This dog truly has such a hard life



Have a great day friends!

Father's Day

I am so behind! Father's Day was pretty tame for us. We invited my parents and Tab's over for lunch. Nothing too big, just some special time together. Caroline invited her dad, but he had to work so he couldn't make it down...he did end up getting to come a little later that day to spend time with her though! I cooked steaks on the grill, garlic cheese mashed potatoes, mac-n-cheese, and green beans...so yummy if I do say so myself!

We stuffed ourselves. But we still had to eat the 2 layer chocolate cake that Caroline and I made for the dads! Caroline had such a good time on Sunday. She is really getting interested in helping me in the kitchen, and wants to cook! I love that, since I did the same thing with my mom. She helped me season the steaks, and she mashed the potatoes, she sprinkled the cheese on top of the mac-n-cheese before we baked it {but I think she just liked eating the cheese}, and then helped me mix the cake and ice it! Whew, she was such a big helper!

We didn't do gifts this year, just a special lunch and homemade cards. We really wanted to just spend some time with our dads, especially after the week we had.

When Steven got there, Caroline was very excited to help him make his plate! I didn't cook his steak, I didn't want it to go to waste if he didn't make it down, so Caroline got all the stuff down to season it and showed him how it was done! We left them alone for a while so they could spend time together, and when we got back, it was bath time. After Caroline got all sparkly clean, we sat down to all play pictionary together...surprisingly our little 6 year old is quite good!

I'm not going to get all mushy on here about dad's...mine knows how much he means to me, Tab knows how much I love the way he loves Caroline, and Steven...well, thanks for being there for boog.


Caroline and her "2 Dads" as she calls them

Reminiscing

While I was going through photos for the Anniversary Post, I came across so many memories. Sometimes you briefly forget little moments of the past, but then something triggers a memory. Everyone always teases me for never being without my camera, but I know that deep down, they are glad I have it!

Since re-seeing {I know that's not a real word, just work with me here!} I thought I would share some of my favorite memories. I would love for y'all to do the same! If you feel like sharing, just leave me a comment and let me know to come by and see what warms your heart, or makes you laugh so hard you might have tinkled just a tiny bit. I'm not saying that's ever happened to me, maybe once, but when I was pregnant! Have fun!


Our car was so awful! They put oreos and hotdogs, and streamers, we drove straight to the car wash laughing the whole way!


Getting to visit with my BFF Sarah. We had such a good time sitting by the pool.

The Sassy Face

We took Boog to the State Fair and she just had to take her My Little Ponies with her to show the big horses.

I walk into the bathroom to find this...she said she wanted to be fabulash!

Amusing herself while potty training

Easter egg dying. Michelle would have had a heart attack!

Vacation at the beach. Husband and daddy played chess all day, and all night that day, only breaking to eat.

We went to visit Michelle, my BFF and her kiddos a few months ago, and she just couldn't resist picking her daughter Lexi's nose! Ha Ha!

Then the kids got to play in the tree.

During dance pictures, I was cracking up...she was so ready to go!

Movie night...this is what they did everytime someone was kissing. Hilarious!

The reason she doesn't play soccer.

And now {finally} for the theme pictures, the ones that crack me up, and shake my head to say, "Why me?"

18 months, after it rained

3 years old, Thanksgiving

5 years old, summer fun


Do you think she likes to play in the mud?