3rd times not Always a Charm

I right this post with great sorrow.

You know the old saying that the 3rd times a charm?

Unfortunately not this time around. Remember the post a few weeks ago asking for your prayers? Well we went for out 3rd try to get pregnant. We have anxiously been waiting till this Wednesday to take our home test. This morning we knew there was no need. I keep telling myself that it is going to be okay, that God has a plan for our family. I know deep down somewhere that's true, but right now it just doesn't feel that way. We want this so badly, and it just hurts so much.

The worst part is that we are probably coming close to the end of the line. For those of you who don't know much about the infertility process, it is very expensive. We are reaching a point where we may not be able to continue down this path. It breaks my heart. I'm not going to go on and on about this, but I just wanted to tell those of you who have been keeping up with our tries to bring more love and joy into our family. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers

Love, Alicia

Keep on Trucking!

I am sad to say that the IUI (intrauterine insemination) did not work this time. We were really hopeful since I actually made it the 2 weeks waiting time without "starting". But, late Saturday we knew there was no need to take the test. Please do not feel badly for us, we know the God has a plan for us, and that when He is ready we will know what that plan is!

We are not going to quit the infertility process, and plan to try again in a few months! Hopefully, we will be able to have a baby, but if not, then we are going to pursue other options.

I had a great talk with my best friend on Sunday morning, and we were just reaffirming that this was not the end, that God knows what he has in store for us! A lot of people can't believe that I'm not devastated, because so many people are when they can't conceive. I was telling Michelle that I hear so many women just heartbroken....and I just don't think they believe in Him! If they did, it seems to me that they would have faith that God does have a plan for all of us, and that He never gives us anything we can't handle!

PLEASE do not think that I am not sad, I just have my faith! And whether or not we have a baby, God gave me Caroline, and I will always feel so blessed!!!!!

Much Love~
Alicia

To be or not to be?

I have had lots of questions, comments and calls on whether or not I have any "feelings" or "instincts" on my ever closer pregnancy test. I can't even to begin to make a call on this one. I have felt a little crampy on 2 different days, and that could be Implantation cramping, or it could be just the sad announcement of the ole' aunt flo making her stop.

My best friend, God love her, has called me every few days to ask if I feel pregnant yet! I so wish I could say that I did! Michelle, keep praying honey!

So this is day 10 since we had the procedure done, and implantation of the egg normally takes place between 8-12 days, so hopefully it has found a little comfy spot in there to get all cozy for the next 9 months!

Keep Praying!
Alicia

Baby Maybe?

Well, this weekend was a big weekend for us! Some of you know that my hubby & I are trying to have a baby. We unfortunately have infertility issues and this makes it a tad bit difficult to say the least. We have already "tried" once in June and were unsuccessful, so we have been patiently waiting until we could try again.

For those of you who don't know how the whole process works, I will give a brief explanation! Basically on the 1st day of the evil flow, I start counting. On day 10 I get the joy of peeing on a stick every day until I have my "surge". When a follicle has adequately matured, a surge of Luteinizing Hormone (LH) causes the follicle to burst and release the egg into the fallopian tube. Once I get my surge, I call the doc, and have to go in the next morning for my procedure. We have a very small window of opportunity, so it gets a little stressful. Once you have your surge, you basically have 48 hours to get the deed done before your eggs die off. So once I get close to when I know I usually ovulate (day 14 or 15), I get to pee on the little sticks 2-3 times a day! Caroline thinks this is great fun, and wants to be the one to watch and tell me if I get to have a baby. And yes, she knows that it only means I can "try" to have one.

So...during some shopping on Saturday, she & I are tooting along in Target about noonish, and I need to go to the bathroom. So we run into the bathroom to pee on the stick. She excitedly announces that I got a smiley face and its time to try for "her" baby sister. Can you tell she is excited? My 1st thought is 'Yipee'.....quickly followed by.....'crud, its the weekend'! Now that doesn't mean I can't have it done, its just a little more complicated and nerve racking. So we quickly finish our shopping and rush home to call the on-call doc to get this set-up. After about 2 hours of frustrating phone calls, we finally get the whole thing down. I have to be there at 9am on Sunday morning.

Great. Not really.....it has just dawned on me that Caroline and my nephew are playing in her room because he is spending the night while his parents are at a football game. Now I have to figure out what to do with the 2 of them in the morning. So when my sister in law calls to check on him later, I fill her in....she has been through this too, so she is super understanding about it! She will pick the kids up around 8 so we can make the almost hour drive. Which is so wonderful because Caroline was really looking forward to going to church, and we weren't going to be able to go, but Analisa is the only other person in the family that goes to church, so Caroline still got to go!

The IUI went very well, and I am really feeling good about it this time! Please pray that it is God's will to bring a new addition to our family. We are very excited about getting the opportunity to EVEN TRY to have a baby with the expense of infertility doctors and procedures. But I pray constantly that God will bless us with a new life to love and cherish. Please keep us in your prayers....we have 2 EXCRUTIATING weeks to wait until we know! UGHHHHH........I hate waiting!