Over the years, I've briefly touched on this subject. I strongly feel that you should date your spouse.
Marriage doesn't mean that things are automatically happy go lucky. They're anything but. Marriage is tough, something many of us know. But, there are plenty of couples out there that their marriage is wonderful. Why?
Well, it could be luck of the draw, it could be God's plan, or it could be all of the above. But ultimately, marriage = work. Part of that work is dating or courting your spouse.
When you were dating, you took the time out of busy work schedules to see that special someone. Maybe dropped in for a quick hello. Maybe he sent you flowers. Those things shouldn't stop just because you got the ring and set up house.
Maybe I'm not a marriage expert, especially since I'm on husband #2 {he's the one y'all}, but I can tell you the things that I clearly see differently.
My first marriage was for all the wrong reasons. We did the whole thing backwards, had a baby, then decided to get married. We loved each other for all the wrong reasons and built a marriage based on everything but our love for each other. We were young-ish, had no clue what we were doing and we were never all in with each other. I thought I was in love, but looking back, I think I let the love for the daughter he gave me supersede my love for my husband. It was heartbreaking.
I vowed to God, my daughter and myself that if I ever married again, it would be because I found my best friend. Insert every cheeky thing a woman has to say about finding love here...I wanted my dreamboat.
Almost 8 years ago, I met him by happenstance. We've been married 6 years. And we date. Often.
Hubby works about 80 hours a week {16 hour days}, my schedule is bonkers because photo shoots happen at all kinds of crazy times, and well, Caroline has a million things going on. Yes, we have crazy busy schedules, but we make time.
We do have an advantage that not every couple has, Caroline visits her dad every other weekend. With that said, the only advantage that presents is not getting a babysitter. As your kids get older, they'll have weekend plans leaving you and your hubby evenings that your not searching for someone to watch the kids. But don't let that stop you.
From the start, we decided that Friday nights were Date/Family Night. When she's gone, we go out on a date, when she's home we have family game night. So it's a given that twice a month we get each other all to ourselves. Beyond that, we do little things for each other that we both know the other will appreciate. I bake him chocolate chip cookies to take to work, he makes sure that he takes out the trash or like this week he fixed a plumbing problem because he knew it was driving me crazy.
The minute he gets home from work, he finds me and we share a quick smooch. We hold hands in the car {after I've finished my make-up}, if I've had a rough day he brings me home a fountain Dr Pepper from my favorite place. I ask him about his day or send a good morning text. Little things. But they mean the whole world.
Believe me, we don't have much time when you look at our schedules and everything involving Caroline, but it's important enough to us to find time for each other, and when we don't have that we do the little things.
Part of my being purposeful in 2014 includes continuing these things and finding a way to add to our marriage. It's not always easy, but its worth every ounce of effort that it takes.
I encourage you to date again. You won't believe the difference it can make.
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