Today it has been 7 long years that you have been gone. I wish I could say that I'm healed from the pain, but I'm not. There is truly not a day that goes by that I don't think of you. Whether its when I'm cooking and I am looking at the cookbook you lovingly made for me, seeing your hand writing, or when I'm trying to read with Caroline in the way that you were so patient with all the children you taught. I am deeply saddened that you cannot be here to share my life with me. There are so many things I wish you were here for. Oh how you would have loved to see Caroline's 1st recital, mom she did sooo good. I wish you could have held her as a tiny baby, she was so sweet. And I'm sure you would be telling me over and over that I got it back ten fold as you saw her little personality come out!Some days I feel like a piece of me is breaking, not having you to talk to. I know better than anyone how we fought, but I also know better than anyone the kind of love we had. You were my biggest enemy at times, and my greatest champion. I know in my heart that you are with me everyday, watching and still loving me from afar. Some days when I lean down to kiss Caroline, I can smell your perfume, which no one else I've ever known has worn. I know your kissing her sweet face too.
Words can never tell how much I long for just one more day with you. One day I'll see you again, but until then......I love you mom.
5 comments:
What a beautiful post!
I always think of you on this day.
Thank you...you know I think of you too.
I remember back when we were little your mom was always so proud of you dancing when we were at Storybook Playhouse. I will say a special prayer for you today.
What a nice tribute.
Caroline looks just like you when you were a child.
Oh, girlfriend.
Now I'M the one crying. You take the words right out of my mouth. I feel JUST EXACTLY the way you do. Each day is a struggle as I've actually lost both of my parents. I know my mom would smile because she always said, "Oh, Courtney. I can't wait until you're a mom!" And now I understand her perspective. I have SO much to share with her that I never will be able to in this lifetime. So many times I want to pick up the phone and just hear her voice on the other end.
Thank you for your sweet words on my blog. I'm still praying for Caroline. :)
Courtney
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