Fun{ky} Filled Fridays

Since I've had a rough go of it for the last week, I was thinking about things that make me happy, ya know, to make me smile as I roll off the couch to get to a standing position.  And I thought it might be fun to do a post about some of my favorite things.

We all have things that take us to our happy place.  Here are a smidge of mine.

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Sunflowers y'all.  They just scream happy.  I've always loved them.  In fact, when I married Caroline's dad, we got married in Magen's Bay, St. Thomas and the flowers offered were all tropical.  I was having none of it.  My sweet daddy had sunflowers flown in from the states for me.  Don't worry though when I married my sweetie pie hubby, I used the next best thing Gerberas ;)

Starbucks decaf white chocolate mocha with hazelnut.  Enough said.  Makes me all warm & fuzzy!

My Bible.  No explanation really needed on this one.  It's a go to when I need comfort, truth and advice.  It never fails me.

A good hot bath.  Nothing makes me feel better, more relaxed or more comforted.  I can literally sit in there for hours.

Chanel No. 5.  My mom was a firm believer in each woman having their own signature scent.  When I was 16 she took me to Neiman Marcus to find mine.  And she had rules.  It couldn't be some new trendy scent, something that went from season to season, and nothing too overpowering.  Every time I smell it, I think of her.  {Even though it's not what I wear daily...oops!}

Chapstick is a must have for me.  I can't stand dry lips and I put it on all day long and just before bed.  I have about 100 tubes.  Seriously.  Brand doesn't necessarily matter either, but Chapstick and Burt's are my 2 fave's.

Shoes.  In any form or fashion.

Kate Spade bags make me swoon.  I love the colors, the fun factor and the style of them.

Pens sounds silly, but oh so true.  A new pen that writes just perfectly can change my whole day.

Circle E Candles are the best!  Every time I light one and my home fills with the smell of Almond Creme Cake, I smile.

What are some of your favorite things?  Have a great weekend my friends!

Not so Fun{ky} Filled Fridays

Things always happen when you least expect them to.  Always.

Little did I know I was about to be in for the ride of my life, haha....not really.

Wednesday night was a normal night at the Murry house.  After dinner I was watching some tv with my girl and I started having bad stomach pains.  Like I thought I might need to toot pains.  Nothing happened.  I couldn't make them go away.  I couldn't get comfortable.  Nothing, and I mean nothing was working.

I tried a warm bath, meds, milk {which if you know me I can.not stand milk} positions to relieve the pain...nothing.  By 9am Thursday, I was ready to crawl into a ball and die.  So I called a bff and she came to my rescue and drove me and a sad Caroline to the ER.

On the way I lined up plans to keep Caroline entertained so she didn't panic about me.  I just needed someone to watch her and possibly get her ready for Meet the Teacher, which by then I would surely be fine to take her to.  Luckily, she had soccer after that then a swim with friends so I just had to worry about the first few hours, right?  Yep, not so much. 

 
By about 1pm I knew I was stuck in the hospital.  My gallbladder was shot.  The actual words they used were, "it looks like your gallbladder is melting."  Huh?  What is that supposed to mean?

It meant I was about to have emergency gallbladder surgery, that's what.

There were lots of tears.  I'm a big 'ol baby when surgery gets brought up.  So here I am dying and trying to figure out how I'm gonna fit in Meet the Teacher first. 

How could I miss it?  I was so defeated.  I felt like the worst mom in the world.  I know, there is nothing I could do to change it, and Caroline was fine.  But again, if you know me, I don't miss anything concerning my girl if I can help it, and I couldn't help this.

We had things lined out for the next day, surgery was postponed due to too many traumas coming in the ER, so I got moved to a room until surgery could be done Friday morning.  Caroline was having a ball with her friends, and I was surrounded by precious family and friends there to help us all.

I have to say, we are truly, truly blessed.  In no less than a few hours, we had my parents, 4 friends and a slew of others lining up things for us and sitting by my side till hubby could get there.  Blessed beyond words.

Surgery went well, and I'm home.  Sore, but home and healthy! 

I really have to say a huge thank you to our friends and family, they are the best.  I've had flowers delivered, cupcakes, my daughter taken care of, rides, visits to the house and hospital, and my bff in Dallas even ordered food for us the first night home because she couldn't be here.  We feel very loved.

So for now, I have to take it easy and its hard, but I'm trying.

Now to try and figure out how I'm going to drive Caroline to her first day of school...

Fun{ky} Filled Fridays

I died and went to Fossil heaven.   I opened up an email a few weeks ago and found all kinds of little pretties sitting in my inbox...if only my wallet could give them all homes.  Sigh.

Swoon.  All of these lovlies can be found by perusing Fossil.  And if you need my address to send one to me, it's...

Well, it never hurts to try right?

I'm also in love with Crew Cuts. 

Apparently I must like stripes.

What have you found for back to school goodness?  I'm still on the hunt for just the right clothes for Caroline.

I've decided that 10 is a hard age to buy for...not quite little kid cute, but not near ready for teen attire.  I'm trying to find that happy medium for her.  Teaching her about basics and adding in fun pieces and accessories.

Here's some fun accessories for a tween girl this fall.

That's all I've got this week, sorry I didn't link to each individual item {oopsies}!

Limbo, but not really

I feel like I'm in limbo.  Ever feel that way?

I feel like it's all just floating around up in the air.

I'm not sure if it's a bad thing or a good thing to be uncertain about what lies ahead, but I can say it's unnerving.

I've talked recently about my struggles, deciding whether to go back to a full time job, parenting struggles, but I haven't talked about how my faith isn't in limbo.

You see, I know who my Savior is.  I know He's there.  I know He's in control of what lies ahead.  I'm not going to sit here and act like I'm a Godly woman, because honestly, I'm not.  I don't live a life that shows how much I love Jesus.  But, I want to.

I talk to God every single day.  When I lay my head down at night I find peace in telling Him what's on my heart.  I beg for Him to show me how to be a better christian example.

I ask for guidance in how to get to the place I want to be in my life.  And when I think that He's not listening, I get reminders that He is.

I stumbled on this little gem tonight:

"Nothing happens by chance.  You are where you are because that is where God wants you."

1 Thessalonians 5:18

As soon as I read that, it clicked.  This is what I desperately needed to hear.  Even though I know it's all in His hands, sometimes you just need to read scripture to rest your mind from worries.

The beauty in me finding this, when I pulled up this scripture, I couldn't find this version anywhere.  And the source didn't list it either.  I was stumped.  What I did find, read like this:

¹⁶ Always be joyful. ¹⁷ Never stop praying. ¹⁸ Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

Even though they have the same meaning, I needed to "hear" it for the simple meaning.  I am where I am because He wants me right there.

A few things I want to point out about this whole light bulb moment for me: 

* I just found this blog last week and hadn't really read but 1 or 2 posts.
* My mother always, and I mean always told me to pray without ceasing {1 Thessalonians 5:17}

He's listening.  And He's reassuring me that He's got this.  What a powerful answer to my prayers.

I may feel like I'm in limbo...but not really.

Sick Girl

Yesterday was a lazy day.

Caroline woke up at 2:30am Tuesday morning with a sick tummy.  No fun.

I hate seeing my girl sick.

Even worse when it's her tummy.  I don't do puke.  I have a quirky fear of it.  The hubby usually helps her when she's sick like that.  She called for us and we didn't hear her.  Bless her heart.  Normally I would wake up instantly, but pain meds for my teeth must have really knocked me into dreamland.

After she was done, she came and got me, we cleaned her up and she crawled in bed with me.

We had a lazy day full of couch time.  My bounce off the walls girl didn't move all day.  Must be a tummy bug going around. 

She ate some crackers. Drank some Sprite and Gatorade.  By evening she tried some toast.

Poor sweet baby girl.  I wish she'd had a better day.

Thankfully this happened before school starts in 2 weeks.  She loves school and can't wait to go back.

Even at 10, when she's able to tell me what's wrong, it stinks watching your kids feel so rotten.  She just seems so little when she's sick.  Do you feel like that?  Like even though their not a baby anymore they just seem so little and helpless when they get sick?

Praying for a better day today and that she can get back to her normal spunky self.  And that I get some sleep.

Fun{ky} Filled Friday

Time to get down to the fun stuff for the week!

I saw this cute little boutique in town one day but didn't have time to stop.  I finally stopped in. Oh.My.Cuteness!  Chili Pepper's Boutique, it's adorbs. 

I saw this and fell in lurve.  I love a cute dress.  I love a good chevron print.  Combine the 2....ahhh!  So cute!

Blue Chevron Dress

I fell in love with a few other things too, but I was good and didn't buy a thing! 

I've talked about how I love messy hair, I'm not a brush and have every hair in place kinda girl {well at least not often}.  I have a ton of things pinned on Pinterest, most of which I have pulled off with no problems.  I have a wedding to shoot this weekend and a friend wanted something other than a normal updo for the big day.

***Side*** My best friend's brother is the groom and I'm doing all the pictures for the happy couple, so she is in the wedding and didn't want the normal updo.  Did you get that?

So, I whipped out my pins and we got down to business.  We settled on a loose braided number.

Source

We did a first run and were pretty happy with it.  Next, we'll curl it first, to get that wavy look to it.

I had some extensive dental work done this week, so that's all I have for y'all today :(  Have a great weekend!  And go find some thing fun{ky}!

A Tough Day

Today was a tough day.  I've been struggling. 

I made the decision at the start of summer that I was going back to work. 

My business is growing, but not enough.  I've been stressed over it.

Do I throw in the towel?  Go back to work?

The only thing that fits is finding a job.  This stresses me out.

I panic about having a job.  What if Caroline's sick?  What if I'm sick?  What about my back, I have good days and really bad days with it.

I've been applying for jobs for a month.  Nothing.  I haven't heard a thing.

I try to spend part of the day looking and applying, researching what's out there.

Today, I lost it.  I broke down.  In front of Caroline.

I've had a tooth that's been killing me since the wee hours of Sunday morning.  My face started to swell yesterday.  I started antibiotics.

I haven't felt good this week.  I'm stressed.  And Caroline wants to be a kid.

I wanted to take her swimming today, and I told her if she would do a few things around the house I would take her for a little bit.

She just couldn't do it.

I'm sitting at the computer looking at jobs when I ask her again to pick up.  She ignores me.

I ask again.  She grunts

I feel like I've hit a wall with her.  She simply will not do anything.  Lay in the floor watching TV, that's about it.  Constantly arguing with us.

She's 10.  This isn't supposed to happen yet.

I turned the TV off and asked her to come talk to me.  I tried to explain to her that it makes me sad when she can't help do little things.  That I know she wants to play, but that we have to clean up too.  She covered her head.  Then she argued with me.

And I lost it.

I hate myself for it.

I forget she's a child sometimes.  Her vocabulary and comprehension is off the charts.  And it makes it hard sometimes to talk to her like you would a child. 

I told her that when she acts this way it hurts.  I told her that I needed help because I couldn't take much more of the struggles.  She grunted again.  I told her that I wanted to get in the car and just get away from it all.

And she cried.  Screamed at me because she thought I was saying I didn't want her anymore.  And I cried.  I tried to backtrack and tell her NO!  That I never want to be away from her.

My oh my, our words can be mighty.

I screwed up and hurt my girl.

I hugged her and rocked her and told her I was so very wrong to say that to her.  That mommy knew better than to talk to her like she was an adult.

After we talked she knew I didn't mean I wanted to leave her.  But I said something she will likely never forget.  And that broke me even more.

I took my frustrations at life out on my girl instead of giving it to Jesus.  I've tried to give it over, but apparently I haven't fully laid it at His feet.

The rest of our day went smoothly.  We talked most of the day about what I should have said.  I told her the ways that I needed her to help around the house.  I wanted her understand that we have to work for things, not everything is just done for us and given to us.  We cooked dinner together and snuggled on the couch.  Now she's sleeping beside me.

My heart aches for today.  I'm broken and trying to fix it.  I'm stressed and want it to all be better when I wake up.  And it will be.  When He's ready.  I just have to have faith in His timing.

"Let your unfailing love surround us, LORD, for our hope is in you alone."

Psalm 33:22

Not Alone

I got the sweetest text from one of my most dear friends.

Made my day.  I miss her.  She's not too far away, but far enough that kids and jobs keep us from getting together like we'd like to.

It dawned on me when I got this how important our friends are.  Of course we know how important they are, but life sometimes gets in the way.  There's been a lot of talk about friendships in the blog world over the last few weeks. 

Women talking about how many friends they have, how many they don't have.   Insecurities in friendships.  How they have a select group of friends.  And how they have friends in different stages of their lives.

All of this has me thinking about my friendships.  Sure, if you know me, you might say I have a lot of friends.  And I do.  But whether anyone likes it or not, we do classify our friends.  Our BFF's or as my daughter says, BFFL's {pronounced biffle}{best friends for life}.  Those from church we see each week.  School moms we've grown to know over the years.  Co-workers.

I've grown to understand that some friends take offense to whether or not they are high up on your list of friends.  I've had my own feelings hurt.  Honestly, it's not about that.  I don't value one friend over the other.  I value each of my dear friends for different things and a lot of the same things.

What I've realized is this.  We have friends of all kinds.  Each serves a purpose.  Each lasts for a time, whether it's a few months or years.

I've been blessed many times over when it comes to friends and I've also had lots of heartache with friendships.

I thought about doing a post talking about each of the special women I'm proud to call my friends.  Then I changed my mind.  Then I changed it again.  I want people to know friends come in all shapes and sizes.  It's not about what you have in common so much as it's about finding someone that brings something to the friendship that you value, that you need.  Sounds a little mushy, I know.

I don't want to put them in the spotlight so to speak.

They are, each and every one of them, simply amazing women.  And I'm so very thankful for them.  God has blessed me with their love, honesty, respect and loyalty.

Hopefully they each know who they are if they read this.

{S}...we have a lifetime of memories.  We met when we were Caroline's age.  And she means the world to me.  She's vibrant, sweet, a firecracker at times, and we always pick up where we left off.  She's my free spirit.  She's my friend that just lives and loves.  She's taught me so much in this life, though she may not know it.  We share so many passions...books, wine, pasta, thrifting and vintage finds..  And even though we are very different, we fit.  She's seen me at my worst and I've seen her.  We never judge each other. ever.  I simply love her.  She's my oldest friend, going on {eek} 25 years.

{MG}...she shares my heart.  She's my super sweet never hurt a fly friend.  She's careful with her words.  She loves unconditionally.  She's the most giving person I know.  She gives everything she can, whether its love, support, a place to stay, prayers.  She just has a giving heart.  She's just a beautiful person.  She probably knows me the deepest.  She knows my heart.  She knows how I'll react before even I do.  And she's always there.  Whether by phone or travel, she's there.  She lives her life in a way that exemplifies God's love.  And her love for Jesus and people is inspiring.  We grew close in high school and have only grown our friendship from there.

{MW}...my no holds bar, tell it like it is friend.  She tells me what I don't want to hear.  Once she's in your life, she's there to stay.  The dancing queen.  We get in the car, turn the music up and dance.  And embarrass our girls to pieces.  She's the one I vent to, the one who scolds me for having 10 loads of laundry to do, and the person who pops my back when I can barely move.  She keeps me in line.  Puts me in my place.  And I can't begin to tell you how much I love her for that.  We need a friend who'll tell us what we don't want to hear every now and again.  She's the most reliable person I know.  If she says she'll do something she will.  Without fail.  We've been friends for a few years and so have our girls and it's a friendship that will last.

{I}...always tries to bring out the positive, in all things.  Sassy and spunky, gentle and caring.  Loves on everyone.  Such a special friend to me.  She has such a kind heart.  Soft spoken, even keeled and thoughtful in her actions.  She's my uber-busy friend, always on the go.  But she makes time throughout her days to send a thoughtful text or say a prayer when you need it most.  When I need a good dose of wittiness, she's my girl.  Like {MG} her love for Jesus and people is inspiring.  She always has a verse for me when I need it.  Our girls were friends first.  And like I said earlier, you have friends from all different places.  And we've grown to be very close watching our girls grow up.

{H}...my kindred spirit.  I feel like we could be sisters.  We were raised so very similarly, we share a lot of the same thoughts on family, on life.  We share a sick obsession of office supplies, haha!  Paper, pens, notepads, etc.  It's comical.  She shares the same style as me.  When I walk into her house, I feel at home.  We both love a good vintage find.  She's blessed with a beautiful family and gorgeous home, and she doesn't take it for granted.  She's humble.  She cherishes her friends, loves them, and is there for them.  She knows how to sit back and enjoy a good glass of wine.  We both hold traditions in a high regard.  And I can literally talk to her for hours.  We met when our girls started kinder.  Our friendship has grown right along with our girls friendship.  

{LS}...my white trash friend {no offense people, she'll love that title}  She's the friend who could care less what a soul in this world thinks of her.   She doesn't care if you go to the store in your jammie pants.  Or if you show up without make-up on.  She loves a good dive bar and trashy reality TV.  She just knows who she is.  And she's not white trash.  She's spunky and fun and is the friend who will beat up the mean girls {not really}.  But she's the one who will listen and stand beside you through it all.  She's precious.  She's the one I can text at 1am.  And even though it's 1am, she gives sound advice.  She has perseverance, she's driven.  She strives to be the best mom and wife she can be.  And it turn, that makes her a great friend.  We met through our girls activities.  And although our girls were only on the same team for a year, we knew we had a friend in each other.

You see, friends are a special thing.  All of these ladies are dear to me.  Most of them share many of the same qualities and traits.  A few are more outspoken, some are old souls.  But they each are always there.  This is a group of women that I can call on anytime for anything. Trust me, I think each of them have gotten late late calls from me, haha!

I trust each of them with my daughter, because I know they would all raise her and love her in the same way I would.  Whole-heartedly.

These women are my lifeline.  They pray with me, enjoy a night out with me, love my family, know when I'm breaking.  And I'd do anything in the world for them.

Thank you all for your precious friendships!

Time

Summer.

Kids think we have all the time in the world in the summer.
Summer means long days.  Lazy days. Swimming, picnics, and lots of playing.

Summer for me means long days, long nights.  And I realized the other morning, the blessing of waking up to my beautiful girl.

Not that I ever take that for granted, but there are days I don't cherish it like I should.

Each day is a challenge trying to keep her busy.  I want her summers to be a time of fun and love and joy.

And well, some days they just aren't.  Every mom has challenges when there babes are home full time in the summer.

My challenge is working from home and giving her the best summer I can.  Remembering not to let the little things get to me.

I found myself being short with Caroline a few days ago.  I hated that feeling.  I prayed for patience when I went to bed that night.  Prayed for God to give me patience, understanding and time.  Time for her during the day.

I woke up yesterday and felt, truly felt the blessing that she was.

We had a good day.  I worked, and when she asked me a million questions, I was patient.

I may not be able to give her a summer full of trips and fabulous days doing camps and running to friends houses, but I can give her love.  I can give her my time. 

Because honestly, that's all she really wants.

So for all you parents at home this summer, be patient.  Even when it's hard.  We won't get these days again.