Seriously in Shock

Wow...I truly had forgotten how cruel some people could be.

Unfortunately, Caroline's dad and his girlfriend have parted ways. What makes this sad is that Caroline really likes the girl {for this post we will call her GF}. And so did I. At first I was a little concerned because she is quite a bit younger, and that made me a little uneasy. I'd like to think that most of us as parents, try to do the best things for our children. GF & I sat down when the time came for Caroline to meet her, and I told her my concerns about her age, and the things I would like her to respect when it came to her dad and I raising our daughter. I felt really good about everything after we talked.

Over the course of this last 6-8 months, we have welcomed GF into our lives and our home with open arms. That may sound strange, maybe it doesn't, but her dad and GF seemed pretty serious so I wanted to make things easier for all of us by respecting his relationship. Because in the end, that's what best for Caroline. GF has been included in all things Caroline...school, holidays, we had them down for Caroline's b-day, and after the long day of 6 year old pampering, we offered for them to stay in our home. Again, the same situation on Christmas day. Which was fine, we get along, she seemed to respect our parenting roles, what could be better.

During this time, all of us including Caroline, had conversations about their future. They were talking about moving down here this summer to be closer to Caroline, talked about marriage, kids for them, etc. Since then, times have been rough for them, which is how it goes right? You have good times and bad times. But my concern with GF has always been how inexperienced she is in life. She is more than a decade younger than me, and just doesn't see quite how the world works. She still lives at home, and Caroline's dad moved in with them too, so GF has no clue what being a "real" adult, being on your own, is like. She thinks she knows. During the last few weeks when Caroline and Tab were trying to make me have a nervous breakdown, GF repeatedly "broke up" {that just sounds so funny to me} with Caroline's dad. I felt really bad for him, seeing as he was unsure about his daughters health, and what would happen next.

What makes this whole thing worse is that GF did all this, "it's over, and you need to move" while Caroline was there. To me, that was a conversation to be had without her present. And now, she has been there this whole week for spring break, to yet again be told that her dad has to move out. GF assured me the other day, after a crying Caroline said that GF told her they could go ride horses but then left to go to the movies with another boy, that she was thinking about how this would affect Caroline and making sure she didn't do anything to hurt her. Caroline doesn't understand what is going on. And later that night, GF thought that she would be asleep and that it would be okay for her to bring a guy home with her, change clothes, grab a change of clothes and her toothbrush and leave with this guy. Caroline was awake, and saw this. I made a visible comment about not respecting me or Caroline about doing this in front of her. And yes, I was a tad ugly {not with nasty language}, I just said that if she couldn't respect what I asked, then maybe she should introduce her boyfriend to Caroline next time.

I know, I know...I am better than that, I was just so mad that she blatantly ignored my rights as a mother to keep those things out of Caroline's vision, that I lashed out a little. Instead of being the adult she thinks she is, and talking to me about it, this is what I find:

TO:ALICIA_B***h f**k you, you dont even know what your talking about so shut your f***ing mouth- GF has friends that are guys and no that isnt her boyfriend, you should be more concerned about her {Caroline's} dad taking care of her instead of who GF is with or not with. GF doesnt want to f***ing go home because your x-husband is there driving her crazy!{GF asked him to move in with her} ...so before you go believing everything that comes out of his mouth y dont you check yourself and get both sides of the story {I called and asked GF what was going on} and leave GF the f**k alone have you ever thought if steven actually had a stable life and could live on his own then THAT would prevent alot of things you dont agree with{so that makes GF's actions okay because he is living with her}?? hello. yall both should be lucky GF doesnt kick steven out of her house right now..now maybe yall should think about how that would make Caroline feel- because without GF right now he is homeless..{he might be, but Caroline has a loving, moral home with me & Tab, where those immoral things don't take place.}

This was sent to me by GF's best friend, whojust recently had a baby...at 18, I guess she already got the Best Mom Award, and has earned the right to tell me a mom of 6+ years how to be a parent. I guess maybe I have a lot more to learn about being a good parent. Ahhhhh. What it must be like to be so young and act so carefree. I prefer to spend my time making sure my little girl has the best childhood she can.

I would really like your comments on this one. Am I overreacting? Did I over step my bounds? Did I do the right thing and look out for Caroline's best interests? At this point, I just don't know. I prayed for wisdom last night, and comfort in my actions. I also prayed for GF and her friend. I do know that I love that precious, innocent, sweet little girl more than I could ever say in words.