I'm Married, Now What?

An article has been floating around titled, "This Man Is Dating Someone Even Though He's Married. Sounds So Wrong...But I'm On His Side".  If you've stumbled across it, then you already know the article is referring to a married couple that still 'dates'.  If you haven't read it yet, check it out here.

Over the years, I've briefly touched on this subject.  I strongly feel that you should date your spouse.

Marriage doesn't mean that things are automatically happy go lucky.  They're anything but.  Marriage is tough, something many of us know.  But, there are plenty of couples out there that their marriage is wonderful.  Why?

Well, it could be luck of the draw, it could be God's plan, or it could be all of the above.  But ultimately, marriage = work.  Part of that work is dating or courting your spouse.

When you were dating, you took the time out of busy work schedules to see that special someone.  Maybe dropped in for a quick hello.  Maybe he sent you flowers.  Those things shouldn't stop just because you got the ring and set up house.

Maybe I'm not a marriage expert, especially since I'm on husband #2 {he's the one y'all}, but I can tell you the things that I clearly see differently.

My first marriage was for all the wrong reasons.  We did the whole thing backwards, had a baby, then decided to get married.  We loved each other for all the wrong reasons and built a marriage based on everything but our love for each other.  We were young-ish, had no clue what we were doing and we were never all in with each other.  I thought I was in love, but looking back, I think I let the love for the daughter he gave me supersede my love for my husband.  It was heartbreaking.

I vowed to God, my daughter and myself that if I ever married again, it would be because I found my best friend.  Insert every cheeky thing a woman has to say about finding love here...I wanted my dreamboat.

Almost 8 years ago, I met him by happenstance.  We've been married 6 years.  And we date.  Often.

Hubby works about 80 hours a week {16 hour days}, my schedule is bonkers because photo shoots happen at all kinds of crazy times, and well, Caroline has a million things going on.  Yes, we have crazy busy schedules, but we make time.

We do have an advantage that not every couple has, Caroline visits her dad every other weekend.  With that said, the only advantage that presents is not getting a babysitter.  As your kids get older, they'll have weekend plans leaving you and your hubby evenings that your not searching for someone to watch the kids.  But don't let that stop you.

From the start, we decided that Friday nights were Date/Family Night.  When she's gone, we go out on a date, when she's home we have family game night.  So it's a given that twice a month we get each other all to ourselves.  Beyond that, we do little things for each other that we both know the other will appreciate.  I bake him chocolate chip cookies to take to work, he makes sure that he takes out the trash or like this week he fixed a plumbing problem because he knew it was driving me crazy.

The minute he gets home from work, he finds me and we share a quick smooch.  We hold hands in the car {after I've finished my make-up}, if I've had a rough day he brings me home a fountain Dr Pepper from my favorite place.  I ask him about his day or send a good morning text.  Little things.  But they mean the whole world.

Believe me, we don't have much time when you look at our schedules and everything involving Caroline,  but it's important enough to us to find time for each other, and when we don't have that we do the little things.

Part of my being purposeful in 2014 includes continuing these things and finding a way to add to our marriage.  It's not always easy, but its worth every ounce of effort that it takes.

I encourage you to date again.  You won't believe the difference it can make.

Hello...are you there?

Part of my goals for 2014 include personal growth.  This blog is part of that.  Not only is it for me to record my life, but for me to connect with others.  I'd really love to hear what you'd like to see from this ole blog in 2014.  I enjoy the feel of community I get from blogging and social media in general.  I love the daily feed of my Instagram.  So many genuine, inspiring people.  I want that for this little blog.

I didn't realize how long I've actually been blogging until the other day, then I realized....it's been 5 years!  I've met wonderful people.  People that I now have met {in real life}, that I exchange Christmas cards with {except, I lost track of time and didn't send any this year...oops!}, people that I'm now invested in.

I've really enjoyed my time in blogland and want it to continue.  I'd love to have another blog get together.  I'd love to collaborate with other bloggers.  I'd love to know what people want to read about, whether its DYI'ing, photography, parenting, family, Jesus, divorce...just to name a few.  I want to be a light for someone.  Please let me know if you have something on your heart that you want to hear about.  If I can, I want to help.

My goal is to be real.  To share my heart, share life experiences, share my little world.

I wish everyone a blessed and happy 2014!

Here's what we've been up to so far...

 Caroline is joining 4H and she got a show bunny for Christmas from her grandparents.

Her name is Clover.

 Isn't she so cute?

 A New Year's tradition.  My mom always got a bottle of this and we got a sip at midnight.  I can't have New Year's without it.

 Dave's Burger Barn.  This is the Zipper Ripper.  You have 12 minutes to eat this. Burger with 5 patties, 5 pieces f bacon, 5 slices of cheese and 1lb. of fries...

poor hubby, he never had a chance, haha!

 Finally chalk painted Caroline's bed...after a year...

 I have a slight addiction to pistachio's.

 My latest hair addiction id the sock bun.  Soooo easy, cute and a quick fix on a bad hair day.  A tutorial is in the works as requested.

Please, let me know if there is anything you'd like to see or hear about, I'd love to know what my readers {if any} are interested in.

Start With a Bang

So many people do resolutions.  Do you?

I've never been much of a resolution girl.  Not that I think they're a bad thing, just not my thing.  I do however, think that we should be intentional with what we want our lives to hold for us.  Some of us want prosperity, some want a great family life, some want spiritual growth. 

At the heart of it, I think we want all of those things.  I do.  But I also think we have to be very purposeful with our choices and how we go about meeting those goals in life.  I struggle with being purposeful.  I start out really great, then it always trails off.  So for now, I intend to be purposeful with my choices and really think before I act.  I want to be purposeful in my love for Jesus, I want to be purposeful in my marriage, I want to be purposeful regarding Caroline and the struggles we both face with her going back and forth to her dads.

I want to plan and prepare my business for growth, new adventures and more stability.  I want to quit caring so much about what people think about me and my life, and focus on being a bright spot for those in my life.  I have big plans for you, 2014.  Now to get busy.

Fun{ky} Filled Fridays

You might have noticed {maybe} that I didn't post Fun{ky} Filled Fridays last week.  I was out of town with the hubby, on a mission to get him something that he loves.  A shovelhead.

How many of you did I lose with that?  For those of you not up on your biker lingo, that's an old Harley that's really cool.  In all seriousness, a shovelhead is the motor in the bike.  Hubby has been on the hunt for one for quite a while, and in true Murry fashion, we both like old, vintage, worn around the edges kinds things.  So this was a perfect fit for him.  He found one in Lubbock, TX, which is roughly 6 hours from us.

This whole thing gets really fun when I add in the little detail that he was trading his bike {2005 Harley Night Train} for this 1983 Shovelhead.  Yowzers.

After a week of debating, sending pictures and emails back and forth, we set out to meet and look at this bike.

Hubby rode his bike one last time that day.  I didn't think I would get all teary-eyed over a silly bike, but, boy did the tears come flooding out.

He picked me up for our first date on this bike, he took Caroline for her first motorcycle ride on this bike.  I lovingly and painstakingly hand painted the tank and fender on this bike.  It was tough to see it go.

But, as life is constantly changing, so do the vehicles we drive.  Now there's a new {to us} bike to add to the Murry fleet.

Now the fun begins...

A Little DIY Fun

Many of you who know me {for real} know that my mind and my hands never rest.  I have a need to create constantly whether its crafting, photographing or DIY-ing.

Usually I paint canvases or make clipboards or redo things in my home.  Well, I hit the jackpot.  After my mother died and my dad remarried, there was an overabundance of stuff.  Furniture, crystal, china, silver, not to mention all the antique furniture my parents had.

It was time for my dad & his wife to move closer to town and downgrade the size of their home.  What does this mean?  It means that I unpacked 13 boxes of crystal, silver and china in my kitchen along with gaining about a gazillion pieces of furniture {and mirrors} of various sizes. 

I got to work.  And I used my handy dandy chalk paint.  And I'm in love.  And I'm using really bad grammar.

I first took some of the silver platters and made chalkboards out of them.  Hubby drilled a few holes and I strung some jute through them, and Bam!  All done!

This week I chose a mirror to work on.  This mirror...I know I looked into about 15 times a day growing up.  It's one of the pieces that I just had to keep.

I love love the green.  Hubby walked in and said, "well, it's green"! Hahaha!  He'll get used to it.  I think next week I'll work on the antique buffet...stay tuned for that one, I have the matching table and china cabinet too!  So for now I'm in DIY heaven.....ahhhhhhh.