Remembering

Sitting on a co-workers desk shooting the breeze before we get down to business, I hear lots of concerned voices. Looking around, people are leaving. We sit for a while, then head out back to the smoke deck, light a cigarette and put our feet up in the chairs opposite us. Before long, we are overwhelmed by voices, tears, disbelief. Surely what we're hearing is wrong. A plane hit the Twin Towers? As we sit and ponder what could have happened to cause such a horrible thing, other stories start to fly by us. As we put our butts in the trash, we decide to stop by the TV before getting to work.

Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I would hear what I was hearing. "Terrorists have just flown a 2nd plane into the Towers". Awestruck we watched, tears rolling down our faces. Quickly realizing we were under attack, we grab our phones to call those we love. For me, panic set in. Living in a huge city caused me major anxiety. Along with the fact that the industry I worked in was a huge target, my dad and sister working for the federal government, I was terrified for my mother who laid in bed all alone, unable to get up because the cancer was eating away at her.

"Mom, are you okay?" I just hear sobbing. "Mom!"
"I can't get ahold of you father!"
"Okay, I'll call Andrew and see what is going on down there."

Finally getting ahold of a friend I talk to my dad. He's telling me that they are going to shut down for the day since some other agencies have been targeted. I remember the feeling of utter relief when I heard my father's voice that day. I remember how scared my mother was to be alone. People sitting on desks bowed in prayer, groups in the floor doing the same, these are the things I did that day. The images of the 2nd plane hitting the towers as I sat on a friends desk crying will be forever etched in my mind. The anger and panic that washed through me is something that cannot just as easily be washed away. The sadness that overcame me as I prayed for people I never knew. The images from that day are not things I will ever forget. But what rocks me to the core are all those people, whether they lost their lives, whether they were fighting to save lives, whether they were the bastards who took those lives, I could only sit in amazement and watch. Black streaks running down my face as I watch yet another body leaping from the flaming towers.

There are so many things in the history of our nation that I will never forget. But by far, this one has left me raw. I will never understand. I can never understand the why.

I will remember. I will know. I will take the time to honor all those who died, who fought, who helped, who gave up so much that day. I hope you take the time too.