My Adoption

I'm linking up with Kelly's Show us Your Life!
***I'm going to try to give you a little back story, but there are parts I may get wrong, LOL!***

My parents were married in August of 1962.  I'm not sure when or if they ever tried to have children.  It was always my understanding that my mom couldn't conceive.  At some point they decided to adopt.  They went to a local adoption agency and began the process.  In June of 1969 my sister was born, and my parents had the joy of bringing her home weeks later.  They decided after some time had passed to adopt again, which to me was quite amazing considering the hoops they had to jump through with my sister's adoption!  I can't remember if they went to the agency again, or if they tried other avenues, but nothing ever happened.

Years later they were given the name of an attorney who could help them.  They were told sometime in late 1977 that they would be parents in March 1978.  March came and went and they never heard anything.  On May 3rd 1978 my mom was in her classroom teaching her precious kids, when the loud speaker came on and the principal urgently asked her to come to the office for a phone call.  God only knows what she thought as she rushed to the office that day, but when she got on the phone, it was the attorney.  He told her that a baby girl had just been born and he needed to know if they wanted her.  She said she needed to call her husband first, but the attorney told her that he couldn't wait for that, he needed an answer right then...so she said yes!  So a few days later my parents brought me home.

***Again, parts of that may be wrong, but that's they way my momma told me it happened!***

An interesting thing happened in the 2nd grade.  I met a little girl who was also adopted.  Our moms got to talking and realized they both used the same adoption attorney!  What makes this so interesting, is that the other mom was told she would be waiting for a baby in May...her daughter was born in March!  And to make it even more interesting, this couple was Hispanic, their little girl was half Hispanic!  We've always wondered if their was a little switching around!

From here, I'm going to share my feelings about being adopted.  I can't ever remember a time that I didn't know that I was adopted.  They never hid it from us, in fact they explained it to us both when we were very young.  My mom always told me that I was her gift from God.  There has never been a time in my life that I would want it any other way.  I love my family.  I love that they chose to adopt.  There have been 2 times in my life that it has slightly bothered me.  Once in the 7th grade when we were doing some genetic XY chromosome thingy!  We were inputting our parents traits such as hair and eyes, and determining where we got our traits.  I was crushed that day.  Mostly because of stupid junior high kids who thought they were funny, but it was the 1st time I really felt like I didn't belong.  Now if you saw my family together, it was glaringly obvious I stuck out like a sore thumb!  My parents both had very dark hair, and I was a bleach blonde.  They both had dark eyes, and mine were light green.  There was nothing remotely similar about us!  But I had never felt like I was different until that day.

I've never had any desire to find my birth parents.  To some, this really bothers them to hear me say that.  I can't tell you how many people over the years that have given me grief over that.  But all I can say is that I feel incredibly blessed.  I was born in 1978, when abortion was legal.  Just 5 years after Roe vs. Wade.  I feel blessed that my birth mother chose not to end my life, but rather, that she chose to give me the best life possible.  Whether this is true or not, I always felt like it would break my parents heart if I ever chose to find out about my birth parents.  For me, all I needed to know was that I had parents who loved me.

Over the years, I've been asked millions {okay, maybe not millions} of questions about being adopted, and my answers are only my answers.  Not the answers that every adopted child has.  

-Do I ever want to meet my birth parents?  Nope, not really.  They created me, but they aren't my parents.

-What would I do/say if they found me?  This has changed a lot over the years.  When I was younger, I thought I would have some choice words to say to them, and not very nice.  Then, I wasn't so sure what I would say.  Then when I found out at 23 that I was pregnant, and not married, I was furious again.  I just kept thinking that there is no way I would ever give up my baby.  And let me tell you, it wasn't like I was perfectly capable on my own.  My mother had just passed away 5 months before, I was raised Southern Baptist and terrified of my father {love you daddy!}.  I didn't really know what was going to happen, but I knew that there was never any choice of what would happen...I would give her the best life I could.  And I'll be honest, I had a great job, so there weren't necessarily financial worries, but I didn't have any family support system at that moment.  My mom was gone, my dad was in the process of moving a 100 miles away, and my sister was struggling.  I was a little scared.

-But they're your real parents...No, they aren't.  They are my birth parents.  My real parents raised me, supported me, and loved me every day.

-How can you say they didn't love you?  I guess I can't truly say that.  Maybe they did.  I know my birth father didn't even know about me.  My birth mother was very young and I wasn't her 1st baby {supposedly}.  I can't really speak for them.  But for me, I know I could never imagine giving a child up.  I know it's best in many circumstances, and maybe that's why it's so hard for me to imagine, I've never been in dire circumstances.  I respect those who realize they can't take care of a baby, or shouldn't, or just don't want a baby.  So I can't really draw my own conclusions.  They may have loved me, may still.

The next time I was thrown for a loop about being adopted was 10 years later, when I found out I was having my own baby.  It was very scary that 1st OB/GYN appointment when I couldn't answer a single question about my family history.  That was the one and only time I wanted to find my birth parents.  Walking into a pregnancy with no clue what to expect at all genetically was terrifying.  But to be honest, after a few weeks, I felt at peace with it.  I knew that I was being given a gift from God, and I couldn't ask for more.

The moment they placed Caroline in my arms, I felt complete.  For the first time.  I finally looked like someone.  Someone that had my nose, my blonde hair.  And not that those things mean more than the love my parents gave me, but it just completed that love.  I didn't need to know answers to any other questions I might have ever had.  Now that doesn't mean that feelings won't change again, I'm sure they will, I think they always do.  But I do know that nothing can ever change the love I have for my parents.  For all they've done for me, given me, loved me, and supported me.  I hope I can be half the parents they are/were.

And, as for my thoughts on would I ever adopt...Heck yes!!!  I would love to be able to give that kind of love to a child.  In fact, it's something the hubby and I have even looked into...more than once!  Thank you for reading my story.  And please know that I have no cruel intentions with anything I said in this post.  Everyone has their own views, and I ask that everyone please respect mine.  Please leave kind words only if you choose to leave a comment.  :)