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04 January 2011

This Isn't Me

Down in the dumps, blue, crying crocodile tears....Not Me At All!  I am a little dramatic at times, and I do get very emotional at times, but this last few weeks...Not Me At All!  I know the cause...utter, unbelievable PAIN.  I can't sleep at night, I can't walk for long periods of time, or sit or stand.  I hurt ALL.THE.TIME!  It never stops.  I've had a bad back for years, and last year it got to the point where I just had to go see someone to get relief.  I didn't think it could hurt worse than it did then...wrong.  It's gotten to the point where I can hardly do anything physical.  I can't sweep, mop, put the dishes in the dishwasher, well....I can, but not without crying.  The mornings are the worst, I have to roll off the bed because I can't sit up.  My legs go numb, and if I bend forward or backwards it literally feels like my back is going to snap in half.

I've tried several treatments, seen several different doctors, and talked to several friends who have been through this stuff.  I grudgingly decided it was time to call in the big guns...the surgeon.  I have an appointment scheduled for next Tuesday.  I'm not sure what he'll say.  I just want some relief.  I'm starting to get to the point where I don't even want to get up in the mornings because I know I'm gonna hurt.  I can't even sit in the floor and play with Caroline.  I can't go outside and jump on her new trampoline with her.  I just can't live like this anymore.  I just can't keep hurting.

If you've ever been through back issues, or have them, I'd really like to hear your story.  How you dealt with the pain, what treatments you've done or if you've had surgery and what the outcome was for you.  You always hear soooo many different stories about back surgery, and it scares me to death, but at this point, if it will relieve the pain, I'll take it!

4 comments:

Unknown said...

OH my gosh girl! I hope you find some relief soon. I could not even imagine!!

Crazy Me said...

Oh girl, I am so sorry your going through this! I have had back issues for years but finally getting some relief by seeing a REAL massage therapist of all things. I had tried a chiropractor, a spine team specialist, getting spine injections, and NONE of it help. My problem is they always tried to treat what showed up on a CT scan and that wasn't actually what was causing me pain. I was having severe muscle spasms in my upper back but they kept trying to treat my lower back. I started seeing this massage therapist and for the first time in years, I have relief.

All that to say, I'm not saying that's your issue or that it would work. Have you had a CT Scan to see what's going on? That seems like a pretty severe issue! I hope you are feeling some relief soon.

Another person I know who has had surgery is The Drama Mama, you might go to her blog and ask of her experience.

Frugal Jen said...

I hope you find relief! I will be praying you have a good dr and good options.

Camily said...

Oh Alicia! I'm so sorry. It sounds absolutely horrible and I pray that you can find something that will give you relief! Did you talk to Hollie? She had disk replacement last summer. Prayers for you!

On a lighter note, what color lipstick did you have on in your Christmas Recap post? I love it!!!!