Mothering Without Your Mom

Being a momma should come with a little book.  A book that tells you about all the ups and downs.  About the scrapes and cuts.  About school, about mood swings.  A book with bedtime tips.

Well, it doesn't.

We mommas have to give it our best shot. 

Many of us turn to our own moms.  But what do you do when your momma left you way too soon?  When she just watches and guides you from heaven?

You cry.  You scream.  You vow to be a great mom just like she was and make her proud.

You remember all the things she did with you, all the traditions, all the ways she was there for you.

I never got the chance for my mom to see me as a mother.  That's been the single hardest part of Caroline's life for me.  She never got to hold her.  Kiss her sweet face.  Help me when I panic when she's sick.

I can't tell you the times I needed her advice, and surely will as Caroline gets to the teenage years.  It's hard to raise a kid without your mom there to help guide you through it all.  Now I realize there are probably many many mommas out there in my shoes, and there are many out there that may not have a close relationship with their moms, and you know, it's ok.

I'm ok. Caroline is ok.  But it would be the most amazing thing in the world for me to have my mom here as I go through this journey.  She was simply amazing.  Not a day goes by that I don't think of her, miss her. 

So, on Mother's Day, I'm a little torn.  I'm so thankful that God chose me to be Caroline's momma, but so sad because I can't celebrate the day with my momma.  That we can't all be together, celebrating each other.  It's a bittersweet day.

Just remember that we should all help each other, because sometimes, we don't have our mommas to look to for advice.

Here's to all the mother's!!!