Letting Go...Finally

The beauty of owning my own domain name / blog is that I can post anything I want.  Granted any blog can truly do that, but I actually own mine.  And I'll be honest, it's no big deal.  But, I feel like when people post on FB or twitter or whatever form of social media that they choose, that they somehow are making people see the crap they post.  Whereas on my blog, you totally choose to visit here.  You're not forced to see what I post when you log in.  Although you could just delete someone on FB or twitter, but then what fun would it be if you couldn't gossip and create havoc in someone's life?  I digress...

I'm not usually a negative person, I leave that to the hubby.  I'm, 9 times out of 10, pretty upbeat and positive.  But I'm tired of logging in to FB or twitter and seeing people be so dang negative.  Try counting your blessings for a change.

In the spring of 2011 I was nominated and voted in as PTA President.  I was very happy to follow in my momma's footsteps.  Little did I know it would bring out all the "haters".  WOW.

I guess I kinda thought that since I was in my 30's and all, that people were beyond the high school cliquish ways.  Wrong.  Before I knew it, I was in the middle of a "friend" war.  Good grief.  Just what I wanted to waste my time on.  Never did I dream that people my age were still acting like this.  Yet, they are.  So this started, and I quickly washed my hands of it.  I'm not getting into the game.  So I went about my year, treated no one any differently despite things that had been said about me & my family.  They think they're invincible and that these "friends" aren't running back to me to tell me what they say...not that I want to waste my time on hearing it.  I guess the funniest part of the whole thing to me is that I put a piece of false info out to 1 person.  Promise, only one. And within 2 hours I heard it from 3 people.  I never confronted the person.  It truly wasn't worth my energy.

The year went on just fine after that.  Piece of cake actually.  I held my cards close and never let those fake people anywhere near my real life.  Although they sure thought they were.

The last 2 months of school rolls around and all hades breaks loose.  Oh, the hilarity of it all.  I was verbally threatened.  I was bullied.  And they really thought I was gonna admit to things, which oddly enough, never happened.  I guess what makes it completely comical to me, is that I never said a word about any of these people.  You see, I was childish enough once to play that game, and I lost.  And I will never, ever do it again.  I hurt my friend, her family, and we've never been friends since.  I know the price.

But I guess what irks me the most is how completely brazen some people are.  Self-consumed.  Arrogant.  Pitiful people.  Who seek to destroy others.  And I'm tired of being the target.  My business was copied, my gear was copied, my locations were copied.  And, I guess that's the most sincere form of flattery, to have what you've worked so hard for over the past 2+ years copied.  But I'm over it.  I'm washing my hands of it here and now.  I've given an olive branch, trying to forgive, but its been broken in my face.

Being so self-centered is not my style.  And I have to admit, whoever watches my FB and "reports" to others what I post, it's a little pathetic.  I made a post yesterday.  Which was quickly spread to people the post had nothing to do with.  Obviously they are so self-consumed they thought it was, and everything I do apparently, revolving around them.  Here is what I posted...obviously their guilt got the better of them...

...I'm tired of hearing people whining about how soon school's gonna start, how many school supplies they have to buy etc...be THANKFUL you have those kids to drive you crazy all summer and that you GET to help provide supplies for all the kids!!! $10 extra bucks for stuff your kid won't need but another family can't afford will NOT kill you! Too many people take for granted that God gave them this blessing! Suck it up people! I know too many parents who are watching their kids fight for their lives. Geesh!...

Now what amazes me most about the whole thing is that this post was not directed at, involving, or pertaining to said selfish person.  It was however, directed at 3 of my friends back home who over the past 3 days have gripped on FB about these very things.  And I have commented on those posts stating how I disagreed.  And why was I so sick of seeing and hearing about it?  Because I happen to know of a few families whose children are fighting, literally, fighting for their lives.  And I'm tired of people taking what their given for granted.  Each child is a blessing.  I was blessed with one, tried many, many times and years for another.  If you can't find something better to do than gripe about those blessings, then please, get away from me.  

So I guess you could say a "response" to my post was posted on this person's page.  Who, I blocked and can't see, who no one I actually talk to would dare discuss because they can't stand her, who I do not ever want to be associated with...so why, please tell me, would I ever want to openly talk about her?  Duh people.  I don't.  But, I feel like I need to purge all my bad feelings and so that's what I'm doing tonight.  I'm letting go.  I'm saying what needs to be said so that I can rid myself of all the negativity.  I will allow her this post.  Here you go.  I'm ridding my life of your toxicity.  Enjoy the glory of me talking about you.  And don't mistake anything I say ever again to be about you.  Frankly, your just not worth the energy.  I have a precious little girl whom I would do anything for, cherish each day I get, a husband whom I love madly and who loves and cherishes me.  I truly hope you can find your happiness in life, but I'm done letting you try to put your negativity off on me.  Take ownership of your actions people.

I'm truly sad for people like this who just can't seem to find better things to do than compare their lives to others and cast judgement.  Be thankful...you never know when He might choose to take it all away.

Thank you to the many people I can truly call my friends.  You are priceless to me and my family!

p.s.  I can see every IP address that visits.  So all of you that thrive on stirring the pot, I can track you all the way down to google maps showing me where you've logged in from down to house and street.  enjoy the blog :)

Room Renovation

Our house was built in 1983.  Not old, like turn of the century, but old like totally out of date.  29 years.  Now, I can't complain really, my sweet father-in-law built this house.  Lots of love and time went into building it. 

My favorite part...it's solid rock.  Hubby's mom would place a row of rock everyday, then when his dad got home, he would mix the mortar and place each rock where she had.  It was built with love, devotion and family.  I love this house for all that it stands for.  I happen to love the style of it, it's just dated.  We've been planning out renovations for it for the last few years. 

I decided that most of it was fine except for the wood paneling all the way through, but that I really wanted to start with the bedrooms.  Caroline's was 1st on the list.  

Of course, it would have been great if I had remembered to take before pics...blonde moment, ahem.  But I found one from Christmas that showed a little of what it looked like.

Horrible yellow walls.  The paneling was painted years ago, and really needed to be re-done.  And I have to admit, the orange carpet brings back childhood memories.  But it had.to.go!  I added the chalkboard heart a couple of years ago for some fun, and really wanted to keep it.  So I decided to paint around it...

So I made the whole wall a chalkboard wall!  Not that having a black wall thrills me, but I figured she would love it, and it would be tons of fun for her and her friends!  3 more walls...she wanted lots of color.  I'd been buying quarts of discarded paint when I could find them.  Very cheap way to get paint, and very effective when you need multiple colors. 

We had pink, lavender, baby blue, and the yellow is really lime green in person.  I couldn't figure out how to use 4 different colors, but decided if I followed the panels, I could stripe it.  A little out there for me, but she's 9.  If I had a striped wall when I was 9, I would have thought my mom totally rocked.  Just sayin'.

I only striped the one wall.  The other 2 walls are two-tone.  Blue on top and green on the bottom.  Oh, and a pink stripe in between :)  These are painted horizontally. And I didn't take pics of that either. Oopsies.

We're putting up white molding top and bottom.  Then in between each stripe there will be a 1-inch white trim board.

I still have to tackle the floors.  That horrible orange carpet.  Uggghhhh.  I ripped up the carpet, hoping that the concrete wouldn't be too bad and that maybe I could just paint it.  I didn't want to put in new carpet, because hopefully in a couple of years I can talk the hubby into wood floors through out.  So I figured painting it would work too.  But what color?  She thought it would be "cool" if they were white and then splatter painted with all the colors on her walls.  When we ripped up the carpet, this is just a small taste of what I found.

Hubby and his brother used the floor as their very own canvas while they were building the house!  So stinking cute!  I almost don't want to paint over all of it.

Ohhhh.  It might help if I mentioned that she had NO clue what her room was gonna look like.  I did it while she was at her dad's for the month of June.  So when she came home, it was a big surprise.  Which she loved.  Adored.  Screamed like a banshee when she saw it.  Yay me!!!

We still haven't finished.  We've been too busy playing.  We're finishing the floors and molding next week.  I'll take pics then and show the final result of our craziness.  I have to mention that one of my best friends and her 2 kiddos helped me do ALL the work!  If it hadn't been for them, I couldn't have done it!

Once it's all finished, then I get to start on her new pieces of furniture.  I have a lot of furniture that I'm re-doing to put in her room.  Her bed was my grand fathers, possibly my great-grandfathers.  It's old, haha!  It's getting a new vintage look as well as the antique buffet that's been in my family for generations.  My guess is that it's getting within 10-20 years of being 100!  It's gorgeous and one of my favorite pieces from my childhood home.  It makes me unbelievably happy to put it in her room.  My mom would be so happy.  Then she has my antique vanity.  And I still have to find something to use for her TV/radio.  I'm on the hunt!

Realizing

It dawned on me today, as I was getting PTA stuff ready for the new year, that my girl is not a baby anymore. I mean slapped me in the face dawned on me.

Even though I've talked about it before, I don't know if it all really sank in until today. She's about to be a 4th grader.

She'll be 10 in just a few short months. How can it be so? I promise I was just carrying her off to her first day of school. Not getting ready to take her to the first day of her last year of elementary school.

Her baby looks are all gone. She doesn't quite look like a "little" kid. She has that in between look to her. Like she's on the brink of pre-teen. She cares about her clothes, her hair. She's so into make-up (but NOT allowed to wear it!). I'm SO not ready for this.

She's always been sassy, but I can see the new underlying attitude trying to break through. I'm just not ready.

Why can't they stay little longer? Haha! It would ease this momma's mind for sure!