At a Loss

I've been MIA.  I have a reason and I've wanted to blog about it to get it all out. 

Tuesday morning, a little after midnight Caroline's school caught fire.  I woke up to calls and texts about 5am.  Devastated was the only word to describe how I felt.  School was to start in 2 weeks.  I quickly realized that as a parent, I felt such a loss and as our PTA President I needed to get into action.  I knew there were a million things our parents would want & need to know.  Tuesday was a day filled with calls, emails, texts and tears.  I spoke to our principal and other school officials to know what I needed to tell our families.  I'm great in a crisis, very level headed.  I started getting info out there to the parents and getting a plan of action together with our principal on what needed to be done so our kids could start school.

Only a few hours after it hit the news, I started getting calls from people wanting to help.  Can they send money for our teachers, can they provide moving help, gift certificates?  I was overwhelmed at the love and support our community showed our precious school.

You see, we are in a fairly large district, but we happen to be a very small school out in the country while the others are all in the city and quite big.  People forget we're out here.  So to have all these people reach out to us, well, it was just wow.  So heartwarming, generous, and greatly appreciated.

I have to tell you that our school was extremely fortunate to not "burn down", it's still standing, but has severe damage inside.  The majority of the damage was to our kindergarten wing.  For most of us, we treasure that wing and the teachers housed there.  It's the beginning.  Where our babies start out with amazing teachers who love them for us while they have them.  So for the fire to have demolished it, it just really tugged at so many hearts.  A few other areas were in the same shape, but thank God, the majority is just severe water and smoke damage and is repairable.  Our kids will be displaced for several months , but they will go home to their school.

The biggest concern we all had was where our kiddos would go now?  School was 2 weeks away!  There was fear of the kids, teachers and staff all being separated into 3 different schools.  Everyone sat on pins and needles waiting to hear what would happen.  I talked to our principal and gave him feedback from our parents on what they felt about the move to other schools.  What their fears were, what things they liked.  Fortunately, one of the schools a 5th & 6th grade school is just down the road from our school, and we had hope of getting them all their together.  Finally they made their decision.  Everyone was going to this middle school and staying together!  Faculty, staff & students!!!!  Our prayers had been answered!  I later got a call from our principal, and what he said to me made me cry the biggest tears of joy.  I won't go into it, but know that by the time we got off the phone I was filled with pride that I had been a part of something amazing and it was able to make a huge impact on the fate of our students.  My job as President had been fulfilled.  I came into the position knowing that I wanted to provide the best things for our school that we could.  I felt like I had accomplished that goal under the worst possible circumstances, and I cried for our kids and teachers knowing that it was going to be okay.

By Thursday things were moving along organizing donations and board meetings to get the school repaired.  We'd all been at it for 2 days non-stop.  We'd made huge progress and were beginning to feel good about the things we were facing.  Then it all came crashing down.  I got the call that broke my heart.  I turned on the news to see that our beloved school nurse had set the fire in our school.  The nurse who lovingly cared for Caroline her kindergarten year when she was diagnosed with ITP.  Who called me everytime she bumped her head or scraped her knee.  I was crushed.  I'm not sure betrayal can even describe how I felt.  Telling Caroline was heartbreaking, I just couldn't believe I had to do this.  But I knew that it was better to tell her and not hide it then let her hear it from someone else.  She refused to believe it.  Said she wouldn't believe it.  Then the news came on later and she saw it.  I try not to shield her too much, and thought she needed to know what was being said.  After it aired, she came over and sat in my lap and looked at me and said, "mommy she confessed", then she just laid her head on me and cried.  I had no words, just tears for my precious little girl.

We had a prayer vigil that night at the school.  We prayed for our administrators, our teachers, our kids, our community and our nurse.  No one knows what happened to cause this.  And I'm not sure that even if we knew, we could ever understand what it was that brought her to the place that she felt she had to do what was done.  I've gone through so many emotions this week, and I've prayed so many prayers.  My heart goes out to her and her family. 

There is a long road of repairs and recovery for everyone.  Our community has been rocked to it's core, our families crushed and the people who worked along side her are heartbroken.  Please keep us all in your prayers.