Christmas Simplified

It's not a secret that this year has been a trying year for us.  Between family, a hormonal tween, and the ups and downs of the photography biz, it's been well, tough.

As Thanksgiving rolled around I started to think about Christmas. Pulling out the decorations, Christmas cards, presents, gatherings and I just wanted to cry.  In fact, I did.  I thought how in the world I am going to do all that this year?

I'm not.

I realized that I just can't do it.  We don't have the money and I just don't have the desire.  Christmas is about more than all that other stuff, so I'm sort of ditching it this year and focusing on what it's meant to be, the birth of our Savior.

That doesn't mean we won't be with family or go to Christmas parties, it just means that there won't be any big production of buying gifts for everyone, or heck even ourselves.

Instead of the stress I've been under the last few days of  'how am I going to do Christmas this year', I made a decision yesterday that we just weren't doing some huge, crazy expensive Christmas.  We aren't buying for friends or family except for the kids.  If we give to any adults, it'll be handmade and more than likely, so will the kids gifts. 

This year there just isn't any extra money for all of it.  To be honest, hubby and I haven't spent more than $50 on each other for the last 3 years.  We just can't afford it.  And instead of making myself sick over how we're supposed to buy for Caroline and everyone else, we're just not doing it.  And that probably will include Caroline too. 

I love Christmas and I love all the stuff that goes with it.  The decorations, the yummy goodies, the music, the smells, and I truly love giving presents.  But this year, its the bare minimum. 

We'll still bake, on a smaller scale, we'll still decorate.  We'll enjoy each other and focus of the birth of Jesus.  I just can't suffer through another year of trying to make everyone think we have it all.  We don't.  And I'm just so tired of making it look like we do.

I haven't even decorated yet.  We got the tree yesterday.  Instead of a huge noble fir, we got a little 5 foot $18 tree.  And you know what, we love it.  It's just perfect.  It's small and simple, it's just what we wanted.

So to everyone out there trying to figure out how to do it all this year, wondering how you're gonna buy for your kids and everyone else, just do what you can.  Caroline will do without this year and that's ok.  She'll get over it and hopefully have a more memorable Christmas this year.

This is life, real and in your face.  And we're not stressing about it anymore.

Sometimes a Word is Just a Word

The beauty of words is that they have meaning.  Sometimes a word means something different to you than it does to someone else.  Of course each word has its Webster Dictionary meaning, but we all know that sometimes a word is just a word.

I've discovered family is one of those words.  It has many different meanings.  My version is this.

Family is always there. Family supports one another.  Family loves each other.  Family stands together.  Family laughs and cries together.  Family comes together for events, birthdays, celebrations, holidays.  Family is well, family.

Merriam-Webster Version: Family - a group of people who are related to each other.

I've learned, over the last 13 years, that family does not mean the same thing for everyone.  My version apparently doesn't include being related.  I thought it did.  After the last year, with all the ups and downs, it makes me sad to realize that being related isn't a guaranteed part of being a family.

It made me wonder, what is family?  Then I wrote out what family means to me and yep, I never wrote being related.  Why?

Well the answer is simple.  Some of my family is related and some of those I'm related to aren't family at all.  What a heartbreaking discovery, but a life lesson nonetheless.  And one that really has struck me to the core.

You see, whether I like someone or not, if they're related to me, I've always considered them my family.  No matter the distance, no matter how well I know them, I've considered them my family.  Maybe I shouldn't have ever done that, but it's the way I was raised and it's what I did.  I've learned that these family members don't feel the same way, and that's ok.  Now I know, and I'll guard my heart accordingly.

As we head into the Christmas Season, there will be lots of family gatherings.  My only advice to anyone is this: love you're family, related or not.  And if that same love isn't returned, it's their loss.  No point in crying over someone who doesn't care about you in the first place.  But for those who I consider my family, I love you and can't wait to spend the holidays with you.

*there are many of those who are family who aren't included in this collage,

I couldn't include them all*